Our Stories Project
Kaji san
"I've done everything I wanted to do!"
Born in 1962 in Osaka Prefecture.
Inspired by a passion for music, he developed an interest in computers
and went on to have a successful career as a computer professional at a major IT company.
His personal life has been full of ups and downs. But he says "I've done everything I wanted to do!"
An ordinary boy climbing up a career ladder
I was originally just a hopeless brat—nothing special about me. I hated studying, wasn't good at sports, and was more of an indoor type. No matter what I tried, I never got any results, and I started to believe that I was just a useless kid. I even felt jealous of kids who were born into wealthy families.
But then, I developed a bit of interest in music and started playing the guitar as a hobby. I even sang on the streets.
In the late 80s to the 90s, synthesizers emerged, and I jumped on the trend. I was around 20 at the time. I started using computers as a new kind of instrument. At first, I was just playing around with them, but I thought, 'This is amazing.
Once I learned a certain amount, I realized I could do the same things as Tetsuya Komuro, famous Japanese music producer, songwriter, and composer. That’s when I thought, 'Alright, I’ll try to get into this kind of work
At that time, there was a huge demand for computer engineers, and it was an era where if you applied for a job, you could get accepted everywhere.
Just by saying 'I can't do anything, but I'm interested,' then I could get accepted.
But others didn't even voice their interest. They thought, 'You have to have a degree in electronics engineering... if you’re not from a science or math background, you can’t do computers
That's why, just saying "I want to do it" was the key to success.I received job offers from all sorts of places and, by chance, managed to get into a major IT company, where I was able to receive daily training. By gaining knowledge half a day earlier than others and studying, I gradually became a computer professional.
At that time, the company decided to send outstanding employees to exhibitions and conferences in the United States. However, the opportunity never came my way.
Then I thought, 'If that's the case, let's pay for it myself!' and went to the U.S. with a colleague, covering the expenses ourselves.
I saw and heard a lot of things while I was there, collected materials, and then came back to Japan and proudly talked about it at the company
At that time in Japan, computers were still being packed in wooden crates, and about three people would carefully carry one. But what I saw in the U.S. was completely different."I told them, 'In America, they're piled up in shopping carts at the supermarket.' 'I saw an old lady putting a computer in her shopping cart and buying it.' 'Memory boards were lined up next to the checkout counter, sold like gum.'"At first, no one believed me. But gradually, it became a reality in Japan as well. Then, everyone started treating me like a prophet. My bosses and company executives would come to me and say, "Tell us more."
One time, I used an internet connection kit that I bought in the U.S. for around 1000 yen to connect to the internet at an exhibition.
"I was the first to connect to the internet in Osaka!" I said. And just like that, I became a hero! I was suddenly in high demand from Tokyo and other regions to tell them the story about the computer.
Around the age of 50, I started calling myself a consultant, eventually becoming a senior consultant. From then on, I worked as a coordinator, without having to go to the field myself anymore.
There were times when I hit a wall or felt discouraged, but overall, I think I managed to navigate through it quite well.
Heartbreak, house fire, fraud and divorce.
When I was 24, the person I was thinking of marrying suddenly left me, and I became extremely depressed. I lost all motivation for everything and ended up quitting my job. I cut ties with all my friends and spent about six months just lying around, thinking about what I should do next.
And then, I decided to go to the U, S, a place I had admired since my student days. I thought, "I’ll go to America and listen to authentic music!"
I decided to travel around America with the savings I had saved since I was 20. I didn't book any accommodations, just took a plane ticket and a bus pass. I couldn’t even speak English, but everything I saw and heard was fresh and new.
When I saw the Grand Canyon, I cried. In that brief moment, looking at the layers of rock that had formed over millions of years, I realized that crying over being left by a woman wasn’t worth it.
I entered Las Vegas from San Francisco, feeling like, "It's okay to just have fun in life!" Then suddenly I got a call from home saying that my house had burned down.
A house in the neighborhood caught fire, and the flames spread to my house. Although my family was safe, only my room burned down. When I heard that my old bandmates were cleaning up my burned room, I felt guilty and decided to return to Japan.
After that, I really had nothing left, so I started working at a video rental store. However, I fell for a franchise business scam that asked, "Would you like to open a video rental franchise?" and lost all my savings. That was definitely the lowest point of my life.
Then, about 10 years ago, my wife left me. Well, I think there were parts of it that were my fault... it was an amicable divorce. I can see my child anytime.
Thanks to that, I gained a free life. Yay!
Life is all about perspective. I even find enjoyment in being demoted.
I believe that your environment can be shaped by your mindset. I’m naturally an optimistic person, after all.
Actually, during my time as a company employee, I was demoted several times. Back then, I was pretty full of myself, so I had conflicts with people and messed up in various ways, which led to me being sent off to different regions.
But when I changed my perspective, I realized that I could get paid without having to work, just by having fun. I thought, "That's pretty good."
But after about six months, I got bored of the lazy lifestyle. So, with plenty of time on my hands, I decided to get a computer-related certification.During this time, I earned a lot of certifications. The company covered the exam fees, and if I passed, I would receive a certification bonus. I didn’t mind failing multiple times at all.
People often disagree with me but I don't think it's necessary to constantly think about "I have to do my best". People call me irresponsible, but I deliberately choose not to make things harder for myself when I don’t have to.
In the first place, spending time feeling sad or worrying is a waste of time. It's better to cut off negative thinking early and move on.
I think people who struggle with mental health issues might be having difficulty cutting off that negativity.
The truth is, we want to rely on someone, be helped, and ask for advice… that’s why I’m being dependent. But you have to realize that no one is going to help you but I.
I’ve done everything I wanted to do.
It may sound like cheating, but I only have dreams that can come true.
Of course, I have small dreams and goals. For example, I’m going to the Osaka Expo in two years! But as for big goals, I’ve pretty much done them all. I’ve bought everything I wanted, been everywhere I wanted to go, and done everything I wanted to do. Even the crazy stuff. lol
Many people can’t say that because they’re making excuses. Everyone tends to come up with an excuse first.
"Work, family, financial situation..." they say. But to me, it's all something that can be sorted out, so I wonder why they don't take action. Well, it's up to each person, so I don't want to blame anyone, but I do think they should just go for it sooner if they really want to.
For example, if someone says, "I want to do this," but then they make all sorts of excuses and can't take the first step.
Then I’d say, "That sounds great! I'll do it!" and go ahead and do it.
And then it feels great when people say, "You really did it," or "You're so brave." Haha.
I’m not really afraid of failing or worrying about what might happen. Instead, I actually look forward to making mistakes. The excitement of having a story like "I messed this up!" is probably even bigger for me. That’s why I’ve always gone ahead and done whatever I wanted to try.
For young people
What I often say is, "Even if you have to go into debt or push yourself to the limit, just do the things that make you happy."
Money will definitely come later. The things you can't buy back are health and time. As long as you have plenty of time and good health, it's fine to borrow money from your parents, even if you have to beg, and go to the places you want to visit and buy the things you want.
Even though I had so much fun, looking back, I wish I had done even more reckless things in my 20s and 30s. I could have stayed up all night. I regret not staying up and playing more.
Now, I have to sleep or I feel awful, and if I could, I wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning. But even so, I’ll probably be saying the same thing 20 years from now, so I’m trying to stay active and have fun as much as I can now.
When I'm 80, I’m sure I’ll be saying, "I should have played more in my 60s."
A trip to the US with my daughter.
I’ve traveled to many places with my kids, but I have a special memory from when I went to Florida with my daughter. Actually, I almost lost all my savings and my passport while we were there.
I forgot to take my bag out of the locker, and it was gone. I tried to explain to the staff with gestures, but they couldn’t understand me at all. My daughter watched anxiously from the side. All I had left was my swimsuit and a camera.After about an hour of back-and-forth, it turned out that someone had returned it as lost and found, and everything was resolved.
After that, my daughter became determined to study English, and she later enrolled in a language school, where she worked hard.I guess it’s a case of "a blessing in disguise."
"An invisible tail."
I once read a story in a manga where humans are born with an invisible tail. When you're a baby, the tail contains various events from your entire life as little parts. Living your life means consuming each of those parts one by one.。
So, that person’s life is already determined when they’re born. The moment they’ve used up all the parts of the tail, that’s when they pass away. The tail contains hundreds of parts, and just like a lottery, there are good things, fun things, bad things, and sad things. And you live your life by consuming those parts one by one.
Sometimes, the parts align at the same time for different people, and that’s how encounters, love, marriage, and childbirth happen.The idea that everything is already decided is really fascinating, and it’s something that’s been deeply ingrained in me.Recently, I’ve been wondering how many more "balls" I have left. If possible, I’d like to go peacefully, without suffering, like the saying "live long and die quickly."
To be the best in something
It’s up to you to make the evaluation, but what’s important is finding something where you can say, "I’m the best in this field!" Create areas where you can win.
"You might be losing in some areas, but you're winning in others." "You're better than others in this part." Don’t flaunt it, but find satisfaction within yourself. By doing that, you’ll start to gain confidence.